


As Deep as the Ocean

by bitsnbobs



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Hugs, M/M, Mention's Robert's history, Mentions Aaron's history, Set now but no mention of you know who., Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-03
Updated: 2017-05-03
Packaged: 2018-10-27 09:00:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10805943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitsnbobs/pseuds/bitsnbobs
Summary: Robert and Liv both think Aaron is lucky to have a mum like Chas and he is, he really is, but it wasn't always that way...





	As Deep as the Ocean

**Author's Note:**

> As mentioned in the summary- this fits with now but there is NO MENTION OF HER #Rebrexit.

Robert found him sat on the beach, hugging his knees with his chin resting atop them. 

“Hey,” Robert said softly as he approached Aaron and sat down beside him, giving his knees a gentle nudge.

Aaron raised his chin and gave him a half smile, “clearing my head.”

“Ok,” Robert nodded back and then looked out to the sea. The sun was beginning to set and for a moment Robert felt like he had stumbled into a postcard. Mauritius was a truly beautiful place. 

“I feel bad, Robert,” Aaron sighed and Robert turned to look at his husband. Aaron wasn’t looking back at him; his eyes were still fixed on the ocean. 

“Is this about what Liv said?” Robert asked.

Aaron glanced at him and frowned, “I-I just,” he was clearly frustrated that he couldn’t get the words out.

“You can tell me anything,” Robert reassured and he was pleased to see some tension visibly leave his husband’s shoulders as he blew out a breath and admitted,

“I find it hard to be around Sandra.”

Robert wasn’t surprised by that admission. He had sensed it every time they had been a room together; Aaron either became awkward and nervy or he’d be flat out rude. The latter is what caused the argument with Liv. He reached out and put a hand on Aaron’s shoulder encouraging him to go on. Aaron’s gaze returned to the sea but he continued,

“She didn’t protect me, Robert. I know she...I know that...I can’t help but think ‘what if’, you know?” he turned back to Robert with a guilty expression so Robert pulled him close to let him know he didn’t think bad of him. 

“Its understandable,” Robert whispered; everyone had ‘what if’ moments. He thought it enough about his own life.

Aaron sniffed and shifted so his head was buried against Robert’s chest. For a moment there was just the sound of the waves.

“Liv did annoy me,” Aaron’s voice made Robert blink himself back from dozing off. He hummed in question, rolling his shoulders in an attempt to refocus.

Aaron sat back up straight and repeated, “Liv annoyed me.”

“Ah,” Robert knew the argument would come up eventually. He’d known the moment Aaron’s face fell after certain words had left Liv’s lips. If he was honest, he wasn’t quite sure why Aaron reacted the way he did but he guessed he was about to find out.

“All that stuff about me not knowing what its like to not get on with my mum,” Aaron grumbled and Robert raised his eyebrows,

“But you do get on with your mum, Aaron,” Robert pointed out, he felt confused by where this was going, “Chas loves you.”

The narrowed eyes he received suddenly made Robert annoyed; Robert had actually agreed with Liv when she said Aaron was lucky to have Chas. Robert would do anything to have his mum. 

“You are lucky to have her,” Robert stated with a shrug.

Aaron scoffed darkly, “You don’t think I know that?”

“Then what’s the problem?”

Robert regretted asking because the hurt expression that passed over Aaron’s face alerted him that he had clearly missed a deeper issue here. As did his husband moving to stand up with a mumbled “forget it.”

“Aaron,” Robert tried to stop him by reaching out but when Aaron carried on regardless, he threw his hands up and sighed, “Aaron, please talk to me.”

Aaron froze in his movements and looked down at Robert, accessing. Robert was relieved when he decided to retake his seated position next to him.

The waves were lapping closer now.

“She abandoned me, Robert,” Aaron’s voice was quiet but firm, “It wasn’t easy, ok? Its taken years.”

Robert glanced across at his husband and nodded; he was listening and trying to understand. Aaron continued,

“When I came to Emmerdale, no-one wanted me. My mum, Zak, Lisa...it seemed everyone thought I was worthless. And I get it; I was a nightmare. I was.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” Robert took his husband’s hand in his and squeezed. 

Aaron laughed sadly, “Some of it was, Robert. I did enjoy being a bit of a shit some of the time.”

“We all did,” Robert bumped his shoulder and earned himself a small smile in return but then that smile dropped and Aaron’s eyes brimmed with tears,

“I look around the village and there are teenagers shooting their granddads, stealing stuff, getting drunk and trashing houses...none of them are alone. I was always alone, Robert. They were willing to give up on me.”

Robert was starting to get the deeper issue now. He squeezed Aaron’s hand again and waited for him to carry on. 

“My mum left. My dad...My step-mum just...There were teachers, police, social workers...Zak, Lisa. All these adults. There should have been someone before Paddy, shouldn’t there? A bumbling village vet could see the good. Why did no-one love or care enough before him? And, and, Paddy is the one I hurt the most. I could have killed him, Robert. I could have killed him,” the last part of Aaron’s speech was muffed by his hands as he angrily swiped at the tears rolling down his cheeks. 

“Come here,” Robert said softly as he pulled his husband into a hug. It was a little awkward given the way that they were sat but Robert was happy to feel Aaron begin to calm again in his arms.

“My mum hit me once,” Aaron stated as he wriggled free after a few seconds. Robert blinked,

“She what?”

“It was nothing,” Aaron shrugged and Robert knew that Aaron wished he hadn’t said it,

“She was always more interested in her boyfriends then me,” he continued as if the other comment hadn’t been made, “We had some fights. She used to say some things.”

Robert was beginning to feel an idiot. He done what Liv had done. He’d only taken account of the Aaron and Chas he knew now; the son and mother who loved each other and shared a great bond. He’d never actually stopped to think about how hard fought that relationship had been; Aaron wasn’t lucky at all. If he was lucky then that relationship would have been there from the beginning and stayed in place. 

Robert always knew his mum loved him. He knows that’s why the hole feels so big. As his heart began to clench, he decided to rest his head against Aaron’s shoulder and felt comforted when Aaron instinctively wrapped a hand around his middle,

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. He could feel Aaron glance down at him, confused,

“What for?”

Robert sat back up, “For not getting it,”

Aaron shrugged and offered a half-smile, “I’m not stupid. I know I am lucky now. I love my mum and my mad family but, sometimes, when Liv says I had it easy when I moved to Emmerdale, I just want to-"

“I get it,” Robert nodded. And he did. It was like when Vic or anyone made his dad sound like he was perfect; Robert wanted to scream the truth at them. He tilted his head and gave Aaron the same advice he’d given, “Perhaps you should tell Liv?”

Aaron shuck his head, “I don’t want her thinking badly of my mum. And I don’t want her thinking bad of her own either, well, more than she already does so...”

Robert couldn’t really argue with that so he gave an alternative, “You should tell the counsellor when we get back.”

To Robert’s surprise, Aaron didn’t roll his eyes at that, he just bit his lip, “maybe.”

They stayed on the beach, leaning against each other, until the waves encouraged them inside.

**Author's Note:**

> (Aaron was let down by a lot of adults as a child. It breaks my heart.)


End file.
